Thinking Of You
by Wundirlinde
Summary: Fluff - MakoHaru One-Shot! - Haru's POV - An Uneasy Haruka has deep thoughts of the reasons for "confessing", slipping out his mouth - his love for Makoto. How Will Makoto react to this situation?


**A/N:** This is the first time actually uploading my works onto social media, I get really self conscious over my writing, but I'm hoping to publish more one shots, and I hope you may enjoy them. asdf;.

* * *

What's the point in confessing?

I can't even foretell the outcome of this ordeal.

Do I use useless poetry like in retro movies? Or do I use action; forcing affection onto the other person such as the kids in the recent days.

What if we're the equal gender? Would it be the same as regular confessions?

And.. If he doesn't like me back?

Would we still be the same friendship as we are now? Or would we start to drift off; the awkward silences?

Would I lose his one-some conversations? The one's that breathed through not just his lips, but his heart, mind, and spirit?

His Everything?

I'm in agony, just from the thought of admitting to myself that..

**I Love Him.**

I can't just break down my thoughts to other people, just him.

That's why It hurts when he knows more of me than I know.

The conclusion of "He already knows" is on high.

Wouldn't he say something to me tho? Show me a low signal such as that dorky giggle of his that seeps through the movements of his soft smile?

Or is he trying to be nice? To brush it off?

He seems to fit in the category of a Heterosexual.

Not that I've asked or anything.

There is just no way he could be a weird homo such as I.

Not with his outstanding face.

In class, females converse with him; with their own beautiful faces and personality.

I'm just bland. I could never compete with them.

Most of the time I don't even speak due to the fact his warmth is so drawn near, I'm always speechless.

He is perfect. _Too_ perfect, he is gods creation.

Why did I have to be born a gender such as a male?

If I was a girl, would he have formed a crush on me? Confess first?

I don't even know what sort of girl he is into in the first place, we've never gotten into our personal feelings on the topic of relationships, it just didn't fit us.

Or maybe it was because I never brought it up… Since he's the only one for me.

Even if he could try to like a dull human being such as I,

He could never allow me to have 100% of his love.

Not Makoto, My best friend.

My Everything.

"Haru.."

"Haru..Chan?"

"Haru-Chan!"

My thoughts were emerged as I've gotten my slant face out of the reach of water; I had to breathe at some point.. Right?

Yes.

That's right.

I'll never be fully one with water. I still have to go live my ordinary life, with ordinary people; in this ordinary world.

What a troublesome subject.

I moved my face in a flickered manner; eroding the driplets of water fading onto my face.

"Haru-Chan! I thought you were going to die! You weren't coming up and-"

But.. That's right, I still have Makoto, So I guess this life isn't half bad.

"Haru.. Are you alright?"

Even if I'm at my lowest, Makoto will always be here for me. Even if he finds out my liking torwards him is a romantic encounter.

"Haru, could you atleast say somethi-"

"I love you." There it goes. Already planning my self defeat, to be by myself once more.

"Haru.. Are you sure you're alright? You don't have a fever or anything do you?" Makoto started pressing his long narrow fingers onto my forehead, my skin felt cold and dead more than anything.

"I really do love you, Makoto." I thought I'd tell you that, so you don't forget your mine; nobody elses.

"I..I love you too, Haru. We should get you out of the tub before you ACTUALLY catch a cold this time, ASWELL SO WERE NOT LATE TO CLASS TODAY!"

"I have deep romantic feelings for you." Why am I even doing this, it's all just seeping out of me. I can feel the sides of my face starting to dwell with fire. Embarassing.

Makoto lowered his hand, I could feel his eyes darting right onto me.  
"Haru, I reall-"

"It's gross isn't it? If you don't want to be friends anymore then just leave."

"Haru I-"

"Just leave already! I know you think I'm disgusting!" My lower eyelids were starting to water. I was mad at myself more than anything.

"Haru Let Me sp-"

"I-I-I j-just" the back of my upper mouth was starting to hurt horribly; holding back the water of emotion, even tho bits would slip down my eyes. I didn't know what to speak of anymore. This was it. I was going to be alone again, a burden to everything.

"Why would I ever think you're disgusting? If liking another male makes one dirty, than I must be the filthiest being alive. Nothing could out rubbish my disgusting love for you; Nanase Haruka. So stop crying, and have me take advantage of you."

A pair of dry smooth lips slid onto my own open mouth, entwining together with a slight stick. A perfect bond.

My heart was beating faster than any drug could possess. Why a person so perfect created? Why did this perfection happen to love me as well?

Our lips broke off than he did one of his traditional smiles.  
"You've stopped crying, I guess you could say my kisses are magic, huh?" That dorky giggle of his.

"Makoto.. You Dummy." I pounded my head lightly onto his shoulder curving my head next to his nape; inhaling prefecture.

"Heh, but Haru.. We really should get you out of the tub tho. We're going to be seriously late for class and YOUR DEFINITLY GOING TO CATCH A COLD!"

"No."

"Huh? EH? Haruu! Why!"

"Simply; I don't want to."

It's hard to leave, when I just got home.

"Just get out of the tub already!"

"Why don't you just _get in _the tub already."

"hAARRRRUUUUUUUUU!"

This is where I belong.

Here.

In this ordinary world with the ordinary people.

Now, I have finally realized.

If you look deep enough, you're bound to find what you're looking for.

_Your Own Definition Of Happiness. _

-  
END


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